Jersey Mike’s Last Chance

And what really matters in a sandwich (it may be more than taste)

Dustin Mark

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A friend texted me saying he was craving the “Cancro” sandwich. Up until a few months ago I’d have had no idea what that meant, but it was a few months ago that I set out to beshame (or redeem, should they seize the opportunity) the sandwich chain Jersey Mike’s, and now ‘Cancro’ — a signature sandwich named after the chain’s founder and CEO — is a word that takes up as much space in my brain as any other word, including all words I know with any significance at all. Whereas I do believe one shouldn’t be ashamed of their knowledge, I’d happily trade my knowledge of the name of a sandwich I’ve never eaten for, let’s say, anything else.

I’ve eaten Jersey Mike’s (JM’s) three times in my life, though it is also possible it has only been twice and I’m mistakenly thinking of another place in the second instance. Before I’d ever tasted one of their subs I’d made up my mind, because my brain, for all its many faults and shortcomings, is still capable of creating habits; it just so happens that the habits I create are seldom beneficial or constructive in and of themselves, but rather they are products of arbitrary stubbornness. My brain can create habits and my brain can be tricked, if there is any difference between the two.

I am, I’m now verbalizing for the first time, a canonical bullshitter, which, before you even think it, is not the same as a liar. It’s very different. I am a bullshitter, yes, because life is…

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Dustin Mark

Dustin Mark writes and performs comedy when asked to. Mailing list here: http://eepurl.com/ggVkAf. Massage Therapist podcasts can be googled.